10 Best Ways on How to Control Your Anger in Relationship

control your anger

Have you been provoked before?

Do you get upset and always try to vent your anger on your partner?

In every relationship, there are challenges but sometimes it is anger that causes these hindrances. If a person feels like always spotting negativities of their partner, they might be dealing with anger issues.

What is anger?

control your anger

Anger is a sentiment characterized by opposition towards someone or something you feel deliberately done wrong. The root cause of this anger may include injustice, stress, financial issues or personal problems, traumatic event, or feeling unheard or undervalued. Sometimes physiological processes, such as hunger, chronic pain, fear, or panic can also trigger anger.

In relationships, some cases bring anger. But the question is, what are the best ways to control it?

Fortunately, I have good news for you. Below are the 10 best ways on how to control your anger in a relationship.

  1. Think Before You Speak 

 One of the best ways on how to control your anger in a relationship is to think before you speak. The tactic is to pause before reacting. If your heart is beating hard and you feel like yelling at your partner, take a breath. Count to 10. Do well to avoid lashing out and saying or doing something you will regret later.

2. Move Away From the Situation

 Take time from whatever is making you angry. You can go to different rooms or even go for a walk outside. You can ask your partner to let you have just a few minutes to gather your thoughts before you two talk again.

3. Take Some Deep Breaths

 Another best way to hoot at anger is to take some deep breaths. Focus on breathing in and out slowly. If you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath in through your nose, and then let it out through your mouth. Do this 5 to 10 times until you feel yourself getting calmer.

 4. Beware Of Your Anger Warning Signs

 Knowing your anger warning signs is one of the major ways on how to control your anger in a relationship. You can catch your anger before it becomes problematic. If you notice that you’re getting angry, you can cope with a mechanism to calm down or take a quick break. Anger sneak up on you so take note of the following signs;

-Feeling flush hood

-Faster breathing


-pounding heart etc.

Read: Reasons Why Your True Friend Stands For you At all time

5. Repeat Calming Phrase

 You can try something like, “relax”, or “I am calm” or even” chill out”. When you notice your anger starting to rise, repeat the phrase either loud or in your head to get yourself to calm down.

6. Identify The Source Of Your Anger

An additional great way on how to control your anger is to be able to identify the source of your anger. Anger often masks out our real emotions. If you are feeling extreme anger, you might actually be covering up sadness, guilt, shame, fear, hurt, or rejection. Take a moment to examine why, exactly, you are feeling angry and what you can do about it.

7. Notice Your Negative Thought

  Anger is often caused by destructive thought patterns. You might not notice that you are thinking in a particular way. The first step to combat these negative thought patterns is to identify them.

8. Battle Your Negative Thoughts

In a relationship, one particular problem might cause us to be furious and the anger is triggered by our negative thoughts, and the best way to control it is to battle with the negativity which comes to mind. Ask yourself if your thoughts are rational and true. Most of the time, we have reactions to situations that are not helpful. When this happens, try and pay attention to your specific thought and thought patterns.

9. Practice Active Listening

 Listening attentively is an enormous way on how to control your anger in a relationship. Try not to cut your partner off when they are talking and ask to follow-up questions to indicate that you understand. You can also try rephrasing your partner’s words to ask them if you understand them correctly.

10. Seek For Help

 In a relationship, there will be up and down which may cause anger. When you try all the possible means to curb it but seem not to be working, try seeking help. You are not the only person who is facing anger problems, strive to get someone who is more experienced than you and have in-depth knowledge about relationship for help.

To end it, anger is one of the reasons why most marriages or relationships end on rock and it causes you to hurt people, say or do things you will regret. Controlling your anger is the best way to get a healthy relationship.

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